Wishing I was "On Agate Hill"

Sometimes, books reach out and grab you in way that makes you feel as if they are a part of you. Even more rarely, characters do the same, and by the end of the book you feel that if you met that person, your souls would practically be in tune with each other.

I can remember the first time this really happened to me--it was Emily, of the 'Emily of New Moon" series by L.M. Montgomery (of "Anne of Green Gables" fame). Although I love the Anne books, Emily seemed like such a kindred spirit (to borrow an Anne phrase) that I felt like somehow L.M. Montgomery had read my mind and written a book just for me.

It's been a while since I've read a book that has had this impact on me (other characters I feel this connection to include Jane Eyre), but having just finished "On Agate Hill" by Lee Smith, I can add Molly Petree Jarvis to the group.

I picked up 'On Agate Hill" because Lee Smith lives in Hillsborough, 10 miles from where I went to college, and I was admittedly feeling homesick, but also because I had read her most recent book of short stories last summer and enjoyed it.

Molly Petree is such a fiery, distinct, independent character, that I truly wish I could know her. I've been really down lately, between being homesick, struggling at my job (which is still part-time, so I've taken on another job at a daycare, which is causing me to question my skills as a potential future parent), and just general growing pains (I'm an adult? When the heck did this happen?), so connecting with such a fierce spirit as Molly Petree was just what I needed.

I know that to some people this may sound strange--it's just fiction, right?--but I've always found solace in fictional characters, settings, and situations. For those of you like me, I heartily recommend "On Agate Hill".

Comfort Literature, Mystery Edition

A while ago, I wrote a post on my favorite books to read when I'm just in need of some comfort. Most of those ended up being "classics", so I thought I would write another post on my absolute favorite genre--mysteries.

Agatha Christie

I think I really got hooked on mysteries thanks to Agatha Christie. I started reading them after watching the Hercule Poirot tv series on PBS when I was in middle school, and I just fell in love with her writing style and characters. In addition to the Poirot series, some of her stand-alone novels are wonderful, The Pale Horse and They Came to Baghdad being two of my favorites. A few years back, I read a biography of Agatha Christie, and realized she is just as fascinating as her characters. From a mysterious disappearance to a late-in-life remarriage to a much younger archeologist, she lives up to her fame as a mystery writer. Even though I started reading these books as a teenager, I still love them just as much today.

Elizabeth Peters

Elizabeth Peters is another of my favorite mystery authors--Amelia Peabody and Emerson are fantastic, hilarious characters, and as the books progress, Ramses and Nefret also take a central role. I love these books for the excellent marital relationship Amelia and Emerson share almost more than for the mystery plotlines, which are always chock full of ancient Egyptian lore and late Victorian/Edwardian mayhem. Good Gad!

Alexander McCall Smith

I love Alexander McCall Smith's novels because they take seemingly mundane, everyday mysteries and turn them into wonderful, comforting stories full of characters that you spend the whole book wishing you could meet. I've read all the Mma Ramotswe novels,set in Botswana, and have recently started the Isabel Dalhousie ones,set in Edinburgh, and I love them all. McCall Smith's plotlines don't feature daring escapades like Elizabeth Peter's do--just ordinary people doing what they can to help others and solve mysteries that trouble them. I always finish one of his books feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.

Anne Perry

I admit I have mixed feelings about Anne Perry's personal life ever since I saw the movie Heavenly Creatures, based on her life (she and a friend conspired to kill the friend's mother as teenagers in New Zealand), but her books hooked me for their settings (mid to late Victorian England, and WWI England/Europe), their period details, the endearing characters, and the well-thought-out plotlines. I've read all the Thomas and Charlotte Pitt novels as well as the WWI series, and hope to start the William Monk series once I find the first one at the library. (To give you an idea of how long I've been reading her books and how much I love them, this comes to a total of about 30 books so far). I also find a message of redemption and hope in her novels that, I like to think, is coming from a personal sense of true sorrow about her past actions. But that might just be me reading into things.

Robin Paige

Robin Paige is the pseudonym for husband and wife team Bill and Susan Albert--their writing style is unique as a result. Their books focus on husband and wife team (eventually...it takes several books for them to meet and fall in love) Charles and Kate Sheridan, and it alternates between their points of view. Also set in late Victorian/Edwardian England, the Alberts make at least one famous historical character pop up per book--Arthur Conan Doyle, Rolls and Royce, Marconi, and Oscar Wilde, just for a sample--and their historical research (and recommendation for non-fiction books to read at the end of each book) is flawless. I've read all of their books in this series several times, and always enjoy them.

Jasper Fforde

I debated including Fforde in the mystery category, because his writing is so unique, but I think it ultimately fits here. Fforde writes books that take place in classics, fairy tales, children's stories...you name a book you like, he includes its characters and setting into his story. The Thursday Next series (starting with The Eyre Affair) is my favorite..set in an alternate-universe 1980s England, Thursday Next is a literary detective who moonlights as a detective in the "bookverse", or world of fiction (those fictional characters get up to all kinds of shenanigans in their free time!). I've also started reading his Nursery Crimes series, which I also enjoy. Ffordes books have a whimsical nature you don't often find outside of children's literature, a wonderful break from "grown-up" novels.


That's all for now--stay tuned for the chick lit/romance edition....

Actions speak louder than words

Recently, I saw this article posted on a college acquaintance's facebook page, and it got me thinking.

I agree with this author's main argument: Men need to speak up about abortion. (Funnily enough though, most of the pro-life men I know do speak up a good bit. Brian's best friend was the president of Students for Life in college, and Brian himself was a member. Perhaps it's the fact that "pro-choice" men realize, deep down, that they're on the wrong side of the argument? hmm...)

This author describes the pain and suffering unplanned pregnancy (and subsequent abortion) caused in the lives of two women close to him--his mother, and his college girlfriend. How hard the decision was, how they struggle to talk about it even now, how much it affected them, not only at the time but throughout their lives. How the reasons these women had abortions were not because they didn't want a baby, but because they didn't feel that they had the adequate support to care for them. In his mother's case, the baby was diagnosed in utero with a disability, and in his girlfriend's, he himself was too much of a drunk stoner (his words, not mine) to care for a child.

I fully expected to be outraged by this article--but I found myself agreeing. The author (Aaron Traister) acknowledges that abortion is not an easy, casual decision, and that it has long-lasting effects. So why is Mr. Traister pro-choice, exactly?

He says:

"These "women's issues" have shaped my life: my birth, my adulthood and the children for which I am forever grateful. So yes, I support women's health programs and a woman's right to choose.

Even though I know that none of these choices are made easily or without hurt."

Huh. So was abortion really a good choice for these women? Let's say his girlfriend had the baby, even knowing she wouldn't be able to care for it on her own. She decides to give the baby to adoptive parents, and experiences all the regular pains of pregnancy and birth but not the continual anguish she has thus faced over the years for killing her child. And let's say that his mother continued the pregnancy and had a child with a disability--and it turns out she loves that child just as much as its typical siblings (don't get me started on how often in utero diagnoses are wrong, and how bleak a picture doctors paint for parents of what the child's life will be like).

It seems to me that Mr. Traister supports the women in his life (a good thing, of course), and wants them to do what is best for them. He's speaking up! But what if, instead, he had been there for his girlfriend when she was pregnant? The old adage "actions speak louder than words" seems to apply here.

So, to all those out there who want to continue Planned Parenthood's funding...who respect a woman's right to "choose"...what if, instead of making signs and parading around you started to figure out what could really help women who are pregnant--counseling, baby supplies, how to begin the adoption process? (The same goes for pro-life paraders, by the way. Parading is all well and good, and I support the pro-life march as much as anyone, but words don't help pregnant moms, no matter what the words are).

If you're interested in this topic, I highly recommend Frederica Mathewes-Green's book, "Real Choices: Listening to women, finding alternatives to abortion".

As for me, I believe I have a soapbox to step down from...

Being a Grad Student Wife

Recently, I filled out a volunteer application for a pregnancy counseling center where we live, and somehow the director interpreted this as request to help with fundraising. At first I thought, well, if this is what they need, then I can do that. They have a fundraising banquet coming up soon, so when she invited me, I assumed it was to help out with set-up or clean-up or other various event-related tasks. Um, no. Apparently she wanted me to come so I would give money...and on the invitation, the smallest amount was $400. So now I have to send an awkward e-mail saying, "Hi, I only work part-time and my husband is in grad school..." (I have to admit, I have no idea why she thought I was wealthy...people with "MSW" after their name usually aren't big spenders).

So this has all got me thinking about the very unique (and often frustrating) position of being a grad student wife. Plus, it's tax season, and getting my W-2 always makes me feel inadequate...especially this year, since I'm the only one bringing home a salary.

I don't have to worry about my husband working late (when he does, it's usually at home), or having to work weekends. Instead, my husband's work is nearly constant (although Brian does usually try to take Sunday afternoons off), from the time he gets up in the morning until he goes to sleep at night. Instead of having to compete with coworkers for his attention, I have to compete with the likes of Thomas Aquinas. When he claims he has no time to help me clean up after dinner, I might protest but I can't claim he's lying...plus, if he doesn't do well here he won't get into a good program for his doctorate, or be able to get a good job after that...

I know it might be terribly anti-feminist of me, but being the only one bringing money home stresses me out more than I thought it would. I'm currently in the process of getting a second part-time job, since it looks like my job won't be going full-time like I had hoped, and I've found myself feeling resentful. "Why am I having to get a second job when Brian doesn't even have one, and likely won't for another 6 years??". But as he always protests, and I promise I do know at heart, he is working hard. His work the next year a half will determine where we'll be next, and if we'll have to take out more loans or not (please, please not.)

Being a grad student wife also means coming to terms with not settling down anywhere long term. We'll probably be moving again next summer to someplace we'll be 4 or 5 years at most. At a time when many people my age are having kids or buying houses, we have no idea where we'll be 2 years from now, and especially not 10 years from now. I have no idea what job I'll be in, what city we'll be living in, or if we'll be close enough to family to visit more than twice a year. As the primary wage earner (at this point, ONLY wage earner), if we do have children before Brian finishes his doctorate, staying at home (or cutting back on work) won't even be an option for me.

I know these years will pay off when Brian gets a position as a professor, which is what he's always wanted to do. In the meantime though, it might be rough going.

Prayers, as always, appreciated.

Comfort Literature, Part 1

I just finished rereading the Chronicles of Narnia, and this got me thinking about the books I've always turned to , over and over again, when I just need some comfort and relaxation. I've always turned to books as a source of comfort; as an only child, I spent a lot of time alone, so characters like Anne of Green Gables always felt like friends.

So here we have it, my favorite comfort literature:

The Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis

Narnia was always such a magical place that I've been enchanted by these books since I read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a child...who can forget the first time they read about Lucy going through the wardrobe and coming across the lantern in the middle of the snow, and meeting Mr. Tumnus? In addition to the magic, the fact that the characters made mistakes, sometimes big ones, but never managed to really mess things up and were always forgiven was even more comforting. As an adult, the (very obvious, now that I'm looking for it) Christian allegory is also a comfort, since many books today are pretty blatantly anti-Christian.

Ballet Shoes, Noel Streatfield

This is my favorite book of all time. I think the first time I read this book I was about 9, and since then I've read it more times than I can count. The story of 3 orphaned girls adopted by an eccentric scientist, and living in a boarding house full of equally eccentric (but nevertheless supportive) characters, who all take ballet lessons, and end up making their way in the world in different ways (plus being set in 1920s England) is a recipe for comfort literature. I think what was so initially attractive to me was the story of three sisters who support each other (even as children), and as I've gotten older, the simplistic and straightforward plot is great for relaxing my brain. I highly recommend the story of Pauline, Petrova, and Posy...for kids or adults.

Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

I first read this book in college, and ended up basically reading it in one go sitting on the futon in my dorm room. I love Jane as a narrator, perhaps because she is a realistic, and a little bit depressing, narrator (in other words, like me), who nevertheless finds happiness, and also has the strength to turn down offers she knows aren't going to make her happy (who would want to be married to someone named St. John, anyway?). Plus, who can beat a mad wife in the attic?

Jane Austen

I love Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Northanger Abbey about equally, and I love them all as comfort literature because Jane Austen's writing style brings their world to life so fully. Even though they were written more than 200 years ago, they still seem relevant every time I read them. The endings are all happy, but they aren't cookie-cutter like many modern "chick lit" novels are...the heroines really have to work through why they care for the hero, and it's never just because they have money and look nice. The case of supporting characters also stand out as unique, making the whole novel like a window into the lives of real people who struggle, triumph, and make mistakes along the way.

Great Expectations, Charles Dickens

I first read this book in high school, and have since gone through 3 copies (I finally bought a hardback one). Pip is an excellent, wry narrator, though what I like best about this book is that it isn't only about him--Joe and Birdie, Mrs. Havisham (who can forget the first time you read about the huge rotting wedding cake??), Wemmick and the Aged P, Magwitch, ....the revolving cast of characters all get attention and, for the most, part some kind of resolution. Unlike many of Dickens' other books, the kindness and generosity of human nature shines through, just when you're thinking that all is lost. An excellent read when you're feeling down.


I realize that all the books I've written about here are for the most part "classics"--I promise I do read modern books, and to do a post on them in future. But right now, I think I'm going to go read....

Welcome, 2011

Christmas is almost over (I can just hear Brian saying that 'Christmas is from Dec. 25 to Jan. 6--IT'S TWELVE DAYS!), and we're heading back to Florida tomorrow. It was a great vacation--we got to see all our family (but thankfully didn't have to manage it all in one day, like we normally do, which is beyond exhausting...we have my mom, my dad, his mom, his dad, and his half-brother and his mom to see, all at separate houses of course). We were also able to visit Chapel Hill and Raleigh to see some of our friends there...it was great to see them, and also to visit some of the places we loved most in college.

We got lots of great gifts (books, cookbooks, Rosetta Stone Spanish, and new knives for me!) plus lots of gift cards, so we'll actually be able to eat out in Naples now (it is BEYOND expensive there). I'm sad to leave, since it was a nice trip, but ready to be back in my own house. It was nice to have a break from cooking and cleaning, but, to my honest surprise, I kind of missed it. Plus I know there's loads to do at work...even though career counseling probably isn't my calling in life (not that I know what IS), I like being busy.

I still hate being so far from home, since it means we won't be back until July (although we will see part of my family at my stepbrother's wedding in SC in May), but I have to admit I'm glad to be going back to 75 degree weather, as opposed to cold & snowing. All in all, it was a great holiday, and although the end of vacations are always sort of bittersweet, I'm excited to be able to read/use all my gifts and get back into our normal routine.

PLUS...hopefully we'll be getting internet soon!!!! Meaning, more posts to come....and more frequently if all goes to plan.

Happy New Year!

Life update

I know it's been forever since I have written...but we still don't have Internet at home and I find myself wanting to spend my (increasingly limited) free time at home rather than tracking down wi-fi networks.

I (finally) started my job Nov.1, and even though it's only part-time for now, it's been busy since the get-go. I'm doing Career Counseling for undergrads, and the closer it gets to graduation, the more panic-stricken seniors I get in my office. (I'm expecting there to be hordes by March). I like it though, since it gives me an opportunity to both do individual counseling and also event planning and administrative stuff; I'm just hoping it gets upped to full-time in the near future, as I both need more time to get everything done, but also could really use a full-time salary and health benefits. I may also start volunteering at a local clinic; more on that as it happens.

Brian's finishing up the first semester of his Master's in Theology (his last exam is tomorrow), and we head back to NC on the 26th. I can't believe it's been almost 6 months since we left--it seems like it's been forever and no time at all, simultaneously. We're already thinking about where we might end up next (so far the choices are staying here, Pittsburgh, DC, and New York, with more to come I'm sure).

Life is an adventure right now..and I kind of like it that way.