Our Impact on Others

Recently, and especially this past weekend, I've been struggling with the feeling that I'm not really making an impact. At work, in the community, in our family, in the world, etc. etc. I'm still only working part-time (therefore not doing such a great job at providing for us), I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm called to do (although if you asked me what that is, I couldn't tell you), and I'm still reeling from the extremely negative comments about me in the spring student survey.

When I received a wonderful (and timely!) e-mail last night from a student thanking me for the difference I'd made in her life this past year, it helped relieve some of these feelings and made me realize what an impact a simple compliment can make in our lives. This echoes several conversations Brian and I have had over the past year, initiated by both of us at different times, asking the other to provide more positive feedback for the work (school, job, housework, etc.) that each of us does. I've learned to say "I'm proud of you" and "You're doing a wonderful job" more, and Brian has learned to say "I appreciate you doing the laundry/cooking/cleaning/working to bring in the income" more (he even brought me flowers last week--they're sitting on the table still and I feel happy every time I look at them). The student's e-mail inspired me to send my own complimentary e-mail to our Director of Student Life, telling her what a great job she did with freshman orientation this past weekend--it was something I was already thinking but hadn't thought to put into words. Hopefully it makes her feel a bit better.

This all comes on the back of something else I've been struggling with (I know, there's more?!), which is that I'm easily dragged down into negativity, complaining, and gossip (lots of time I don't need any help, either). I've said some very negative things about specific people lately and don't doubt I've hurt them; I wasn't thinking about the potential impact of my words and was speaking out of my own feeling of low self-worth more than anything. Yesterday at Mass, the priest said in his homily, "It's good for us to be humiliated, within ourselves. It teaches us that we're flawed beings who don't even live up to our own expectations. This realization can inspire us to take stock, examine our consciences, and make an effort to do better. It makes us humble".

I couldn't agree more--this very thing is just what I needed to take the steps to escape the negativity and in-fighting that can go on so often in workplaces, especially large ones. There is no excuse for speaking ill of others, and really no way to justify it. I hope I can be more positive in the coming weeks, and maybe inspire someone else to do the same. You never realize the impact you can have upon someone.

What are YOU reading?

A friend posted this article on Facebook, which got me thinking--what do our reading choices say about us?

I have to admit Michelle Bachman's statement that “When I go on vacation and I lay on the beach, I bring Von Mises” sounds kind of ridiculous. Really? Economics books on the beach? Either she's lying, or she has no life outside of politics. Either way, it makes me think less of her, I have to admit. My own husband never reads fiction and would actually bring some heavy theological book to the beach, but her statement sounds like it's meant to impress, not to reflect reality.

And Mitt Romney--Twilight? Really? Is it just me, or is it creepy that a middle-aged man is reading books written for teenage girls?

At least Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich admit to reading a range of things, including fiction (even if it is Ayn Rand, not exactly light reading).

So what do my reading choices say about me?

My last 10 books:
--Royal Flush (Rhys Bowen)
--He Shall Thunder in the Sky (Elizabeth Peters)
--Something Borrowed (Emily Giffin)
--The Face of a Stranger (Anne Perry)
--The Courtiers: Splendor and Intrique in Kensington Palace (Lucy Worley)
--Sarah's Key (Tatiana de Rosnay)
--The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
--When We Were Orphans (Kazuo Ishiguro)
--Wait for me! Memoirs (Deborah Mitford)
--The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (Alexander McCall Smith)

Soo...basically they say that I am easily distracted by recent bestsellers and mysteries, but do try to squeeze in some non-fiction occasionally. I have actually checked out a number of nonfiction books and more "serious" books recently..but sometimes (ok, most of the time) I want an easy, relaxing read after work.

Guess I should never go into politics, then.

Back to reality

After three weeks away from the office (one at the UN in NYC with some students I was chaperoning, and 2 on vacation at home), it's back to reality today. After a 16-hour drive Saturday (I was literally delirious by the time we got back--I kept thinking I was still driving as I was trying to fall asleep and was going to drive off the road and kill us) and a cleaning frenzy on Sunday I was back in my office today catching up on e-mails and the like.

I was definitely sad to leave NC--I had forgotten how much I truly loved Raleigh (even more so than Chapel Hill...don't tell my alma mater)and I miss being able to see my family more often. But, we're on the downswing here in Florida--Brian graduates in May and we'll be moving next summer, either to where he's accepted into a doctoral program or back to Raleigh in the hopes of a job with the Diocese. We're trying to get out and see more things in Florida (we're currently planning an expedition to the Kennedy Space Center, mostly because Brian wants to go to the Star Trek Exhibition currently on display), and I'd like to make it to the Keys, which aren't too far from us, either.

Brian's back to school in 3 weeks (I can't believe it's so soon!)and before I know it, he'll be graduating with his Master's (I CANNOT WAIT). Then...who knows?