Our Impact on Others

Recently, and especially this past weekend, I've been struggling with the feeling that I'm not really making an impact. At work, in the community, in our family, in the world, etc. etc. I'm still only working part-time (therefore not doing such a great job at providing for us), I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm called to do (although if you asked me what that is, I couldn't tell you), and I'm still reeling from the extremely negative comments about me in the spring student survey.

When I received a wonderful (and timely!) e-mail last night from a student thanking me for the difference I'd made in her life this past year, it helped relieve some of these feelings and made me realize what an impact a simple compliment can make in our lives. This echoes several conversations Brian and I have had over the past year, initiated by both of us at different times, asking the other to provide more positive feedback for the work (school, job, housework, etc.) that each of us does. I've learned to say "I'm proud of you" and "You're doing a wonderful job" more, and Brian has learned to say "I appreciate you doing the laundry/cooking/cleaning/working to bring in the income" more (he even brought me flowers last week--they're sitting on the table still and I feel happy every time I look at them). The student's e-mail inspired me to send my own complimentary e-mail to our Director of Student Life, telling her what a great job she did with freshman orientation this past weekend--it was something I was already thinking but hadn't thought to put into words. Hopefully it makes her feel a bit better.

This all comes on the back of something else I've been struggling with (I know, there's more?!), which is that I'm easily dragged down into negativity, complaining, and gossip (lots of time I don't need any help, either). I've said some very negative things about specific people lately and don't doubt I've hurt them; I wasn't thinking about the potential impact of my words and was speaking out of my own feeling of low self-worth more than anything. Yesterday at Mass, the priest said in his homily, "It's good for us to be humiliated, within ourselves. It teaches us that we're flawed beings who don't even live up to our own expectations. This realization can inspire us to take stock, examine our consciences, and make an effort to do better. It makes us humble".

I couldn't agree more--this very thing is just what I needed to take the steps to escape the negativity and in-fighting that can go on so often in workplaces, especially large ones. There is no excuse for speaking ill of others, and really no way to justify it. I hope I can be more positive in the coming weeks, and maybe inspire someone else to do the same. You never realize the impact you can have upon someone.