After an incredibly hectic, busy week in which my major event this semester went off well and was a moderate success (THANK GOD), I have today off. And to say I'm exhausted would be an understatement--I ache all over and could barely get my eyelids to open until after 1pm.
I got up at 9am (and felt guilty about it, as I always do if I get up after 8) and attempted to do some reading and persuade myself to exercise...but after twice confusing what day it was by frantically yelling at Brian to get ready for class (he doesn't have class today until 1:30) and then asking him what time his lecture was (answer: tomorrow), I decided I really should get some more rest.
But I felt guilty about it.
Then Brian said something I had never thought about it before. "Honey, your Puritan ancestors may be turning over in their grave, and somewhere your father is sniffing the air and saying 'Someone's being lazy--I hope it's not my daughter!', but really, it is ok to be lazy when you don't have anything to do".
I actually have no idea whether my ancestors were Puritans, but given that they a.) were British and b.) arrived in American in the early-mid 1600s, it seems likely. And he's certainly right about my upbringing--even on vacations, we (by we, I mean myself and anyone who happened to be on vacation with my dad) were expected to get up early (7-8am), eat breakfast, and spend all day doing things--seeing sights, going to museums, and otherwise exhausting ourselves. On my honeymoon, I had a huge list of things I wanted to accomplish and drug Brian out of bed by 8am and down the streets of Charleston at a brisk pace throughout the 4 days we were there. In high school, my dad, stepmom, stepsister, and myself went to New York City, and when my stepmom and stepsister suggested a shopping trip, I was appalled. There were so many things to do--Ellis Island, the Met, Central Park! And of course, we should really walk it all. It's lazy to take a cab.
My first vacation with Brian's family, the summer before college, was quite a shock. People got up when they felt like it--sometimes as late as noon--ate something, and maybe ventured out around 2 or 3pm. We were wasting the day! This couldn't be right!
Brian will also be the first to tell you about my Puritanical attitude towards alcohol, tobacco, and all forms of drugs (as in, we'd all really be better without them). Sometimes this causes some conflicts, seeing as how we're Catholic and drinking and smoking in moderation are something most Catholics take for granted.
It's curious that, 400 years later, I'm still behaving in a manner that is instantly recognizable as Puritan, not to mention the vast differences that exist between my reserved British family and Brian's gregarious Italian one. When we started dating, it created some culture clashes, to say the least. It still does, for that matter, not to mention some heavy self-guilt when I want to sleep in or want a drink in the evening for no reason other than that it would be pleasant.
That's all for now...I have a ton of things to do. Probably. When I can think of them.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Hurry up and wait
These days, it always seems like I'm waiting for something to happen. Thanksgiving, Christmas, graduation, Brian hearing back from doctoral programs, moving, etc. Of course, as soon as those do happen, I immediately move on to the next thing.
This week, it's a major event at work that I am terrified I won't be able to successfully pull off (and even if I do, I'm worried that it will all be for nothing and student attendance will be low).
So, I'm trying to focus more on enjoying the moment and finding pleasure in where I'm at right now. For example:
--The weather in Florida is fabulous right now--low 70s, breezy, sunny. The best (only?) good part of living in Florida is the winter weather.
--The townhouse where we live now is great and it's unlikely we'll be able to afford something similar wherever we go next.
--Our neighborhood is very safe and our neighbors are kind and friendly.
--Only working part-time means my time is flexible and I have time during the week to run all my errands, plus I can get days off and vacation when I need.
That said, there are things I'm looking forward to:
--My mom coming to visit for Thanksgiving, and the things we have planned (a visit to Sanibel Island, among others)
--Being able to go home for Christmas, hopefully for 2 weeks
--Brian finishing his doctoral applications, and hearing back
--Figuring out where we're moving next --Visiting Harry Potter Land (or whatever it's technically called), hopefully next semester
I feel like our life is in a holding pattern right now. When our friends are buying houses and having children, we're waiting to figure out where we'll move next--a place we'll be for a few years before we move again. It's hard, to say the least. Since I have a feeling I'll be blogging about this kind of thing for some time to come, I've changed the name of my blog. It seemed fitting. Now hurry up...and wait for me when you get there.
So, I'm trying to focus more on enjoying the moment and finding pleasure in where I'm at right now. For example:
--The weather in Florida is fabulous right now--low 70s, breezy, sunny. The best (only?) good part of living in Florida is the winter weather.
--The townhouse where we live now is great and it's unlikely we'll be able to afford something similar wherever we go next.
--Our neighborhood is very safe and our neighbors are kind and friendly.
--Only working part-time means my time is flexible and I have time during the week to run all my errands, plus I can get days off and vacation when I need.
That said, there are things I'm looking forward to:
--My mom coming to visit for Thanksgiving, and the things we have planned (a visit to Sanibel Island, among others)
--Being able to go home for Christmas, hopefully for 2 weeks
--Brian finishing his doctoral applications, and hearing back
--Figuring out where we're moving next --Visiting Harry Potter Land (or whatever it's technically called), hopefully next semester
I feel like our life is in a holding pattern right now. When our friends are buying houses and having children, we're waiting to figure out where we'll move next--a place we'll be for a few years before we move again. It's hard, to say the least. Since I have a feeling I'll be blogging about this kind of thing for some time to come, I've changed the name of my blog. It seemed fitting. Now hurry up...and wait for me when you get there.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Generation of Entitlement
I haven't, until this year, really felt like "an adult". Yes, I've been old enough to vote and drive, and living on my own, for years, but it's never really hit me before.
Now that I work at a college, however, it is rapidly becoming clear that I am no longer a youth, or young person, or whatever it is you want to call the 18-early 20s set. Maybe it's because my parents got divorced when I was 13, leaving me to grow up very quickly and care for myself, but I feel like other people my age also manage to find a job, pay their bills, and treat both co-workers and peers with respect.
Not so "Generation Y". Their absolute sense of entitlement, their "I want what I want and I want it now" attitude, and their "you're here to serve me, right?" treatment of everyone on staff never fails to astound. Maybe it's the digital age, their inundation since childhood with instantaneous information and gratification, that's created this monster. Maybe it's the helicopter parents who are afraid (understandably, let's face it) to let their children venture out of sight, who do everything and provide everything for their children.
Either way, nearly all the underclassmen I encounter are vastly unprepared to handle independent life. They don't know what to eat, when and what to study, how to act in groups of their peers and (most aggravating for me) how to treat adults with respect. I, and other colleagues at work, frequently receive e-mails addressing us as "Hey [first name]", get Facebook requests from students (I ignore them, even when I like and respect the student), have students show up late for tests, events, and appointments, and get treated with an overall "You're going to do what I want, so why bother behaving as if I appreciate it" attitude that leaves me blindsided every time. Not to mention the parents who call, visit, and generally act as if their child is, well, still a child, and not a legal adult. (If my mother had visited the counselor when I was in college and told them all my issues, I would have been mortified..but students here seem to take it as normal. And yes, it does frequently happen).
Of course, there are the exceptions....those students who send thank you notes, address you first as your proper title before you tell them they can use your first name, who always show up on time, etc. But they are outnumbered. And I have no idea what to do about it.
Where did 18 year olds get this sense of entitlement, in the worst economy the country has seen in decades? What on earth are they going to be like in 10 years, when they're in professional jobs? What is the NEXT generation going to be like, and how can we fix it? And equally important, how do we treat it?
Nothing to make you feel old like the generation behind you.
Now that I work at a college, however, it is rapidly becoming clear that I am no longer a youth, or young person, or whatever it is you want to call the 18-early 20s set. Maybe it's because my parents got divorced when I was 13, leaving me to grow up very quickly and care for myself, but I feel like other people my age also manage to find a job, pay their bills, and treat both co-workers and peers with respect.
Not so "Generation Y". Their absolute sense of entitlement, their "I want what I want and I want it now" attitude, and their "you're here to serve me, right?" treatment of everyone on staff never fails to astound. Maybe it's the digital age, their inundation since childhood with instantaneous information and gratification, that's created this monster. Maybe it's the helicopter parents who are afraid (understandably, let's face it) to let their children venture out of sight, who do everything and provide everything for their children.
Either way, nearly all the underclassmen I encounter are vastly unprepared to handle independent life. They don't know what to eat, when and what to study, how to act in groups of their peers and (most aggravating for me) how to treat adults with respect. I, and other colleagues at work, frequently receive e-mails addressing us as "Hey [first name]", get Facebook requests from students (I ignore them, even when I like and respect the student), have students show up late for tests, events, and appointments, and get treated with an overall "You're going to do what I want, so why bother behaving as if I appreciate it" attitude that leaves me blindsided every time. Not to mention the parents who call, visit, and generally act as if their child is, well, still a child, and not a legal adult. (If my mother had visited the counselor when I was in college and told them all my issues, I would have been mortified..but students here seem to take it as normal. And yes, it does frequently happen).
Of course, there are the exceptions....those students who send thank you notes, address you first as your proper title before you tell them they can use your first name, who always show up on time, etc. But they are outnumbered. And I have no idea what to do about it.
Where did 18 year olds get this sense of entitlement, in the worst economy the country has seen in decades? What on earth are they going to be like in 10 years, when they're in professional jobs? What is the NEXT generation going to be like, and how can we fix it? And equally important, how do we treat it?
Nothing to make you feel old like the generation behind you.
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