The Sarah Alphabet

This idea is copied from Little Stories, the blog of my fellow Carolina alum and book enthusiast Abby. I thought it was a great way to think through my biggest life issue right now: Who am I, and where am I going?

Ambition: To be happily married for the rest of my life, and to be well-respected by whatever community we settle in (preferably a small, safe suburb near a bigger city). This, ultimately, is more important to me than career aspirations, but if I had to think about those, I first and foremost want to be able to say I made a difference, however that comes about (and if it involves books, art, people with disabilities, cats, or anything English, so much the better).

Bad habit: Being very rigid in my opinions and schedule. Also, being very negative.

City: London. I've spent a combined total of about 4 weeks there, and I loved it. Easy to navigate, relatively safe (at least it seemed that way to me--don't tell me otherwise) and full of excellent museums (including my favorite, the National Portrait Gallery) and parks (also including my favorite, St. James' Park, near Trafalgar Square).



Drink: Mostly water (I recently heard this helps stave off wrinkles, which is excellent news because I'm already starting to get crow's feet), but I also like milk (for breakfast) or tea.

Education: B.A. in English and Women's Studies, UNC 2008 (Magna Cum Laude), MSW in Nonprofit Management, UNC 2010. I'm currently daydreaming about the possibility of a Ph.D. in healthcare ethics or a second master's in theology and bioethics, but I don't think it will come to anything as Brian will be in school for many years to come. I am auditing a medical ethics class in the fall though--I figured I'd better take advantage of working at a university while I can.



Food: Anything "ethnic"--Indian, Thai, Persian. My favorite is aloo channa masala--curried chickpeas. SO GOOD.

Guilty pleasures: TV and chick lit. I recently found a coworker who also enjoys chick lit and we've started to trade books. I always feel like I should be reading the classics, but sometimes I just want an easy reads with a happy ending. I'm also addicted to WAY too many TV shows.

Hometown: New Bern, NC: Birthplace of Pepsi and Colonial Capital of NC.

Ice cream: This changes based on how I'm feeling, but I've always really enjoyed mint chocolate chip and chocolate chip cookie dough. My favorite ice cream stores are Maple View Farms in Chapel Hill/Hillsborough (homemade on the farm and DELICIOUS) and the Cow Cafe in New Bern (made at the Maola plant in town).

Jonesing for: Chocolate. Constantly.




Kryptonite: Any kind of baby animal (even things like raccoons and possums, which i do not like AT ALL when they are full grown).

Lookalike: Hm. Not sure--when I was younger I always wanted to look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and I think I do to some extent (although without the abnormally large eyes). My real lookalike would probably be my grandmother--I saw a picture of her at my age and it essentially could have been me with a 40s hairstyle.



Movie: I have several favorite movies, but my most recent favorite is The King's Speech. British history (and royalty), great classical music as a soundtrack, and 2 of my favorite British actors (Helena Bonham-Carter and Colin Firth) are a fabulous combination, plus the addition of a touching family story AND the lack of any awkward sex scenes and almost all profanity makes it a perfect movie.



Nicknames: My childhood nickname was Honeybee (due to the stuffed honeybee I treated as a baby doll, feeding it bottles). Brian calls me Sarita sometimes, but generally I don't have a nickname as an adult.

Obsession: Reading (and finding new books to read). England and English history. Museums. Chocolate and baking things using chocolate.

Perfume: Alas, because strong smells give me migraines, I can't wear perfumes (or, usually, scented lotions). If I could though, I love things that smell like vanilla--I once read a book where the main character, a chef, dabbed actual vanilla behind her ears as a perfume, which sounded like a good idea to me.

Quirk: Too many to name? I think my favorite one, though, is that my eyes change color--based on what I'm wearing but also based on how I'm feeling. Green for sad, blue for angry (so Brian tells me!), gray/green for serious, light brown for happy.

Regrets: Not joining more groups and making more friends in college. Sometimes I also regret my choice of graduate degree and think I should have gone for Library Science, since I love books so much.

Starbucks: Only when desperate for caffeine, and it is absolutely the only thing available (which only happens about once every 2 or 3 years).

Talent: Baking. If anybody ever needs to gain weight, send them straight to me--the number of fattening desserts I can bake grows by the minute (I just made my first carrot cake yesterday, and it will not be my last).

University: UNC-Chapel Hill (although I grew up being taught to cheer for University of South Carolina, since it's where my dad/grandpa went).

Vacation: Due to the fact that we only get to see our families once every 6-8 months, all our vacations are spent at home or visiting college friends. Plus, we're broke. But one day, when we have money and time for vacations, there are so many places I'd like to visit I can't even name them all (the rest of England and Austria being two of my top).

Wine: I rarely drink wine except at social situations where it's offered, but when I do I prefer the pink, fruity variety.

X: X to doubting myself.

Years: 26

Zen: I think "zen" is a silly notion...but I suppose my idea of zen would be curled up in a comfy armchair with a blanket, a book, and a good cup of tea when it's raining and/or snowing outside.

The Life of an Introvert

This 4th of July has gotten me pondering the many challenges being an introvert presents, the 4th, of course, being a holiday that most people celebrate by going to crowded cookouts.

Recently, we had a cookout for some staff members who are leaving, and my supervisor said I couldn't count the 4+ hours I spent there, plus the 2 hour commute, as work hours on my timesheet. Which of course makes sense from a logical standpoint, but for me, that WAS work! Working in the office all day and then going to my boss's house with all the people I work with, most of whom I never see in social situations, and getting home at midnight was HARD. Being in groups of people for any length of time absolutely exhausts me, even if they're all people I know well and enjoy hanging out with. I enjoy working on teams and in groups, but I need a certain amount of time each day to process things and be by myself.

There are 2 cookouts going on, one at the neighbor's and one at the waterpark in town (yes, we don't have a post office, but we have a waterpark), and as Brian enjoys grilled food he wanted to go, but as we spent all of Saturday with 2 of his uncles and his aunt, the prospect of spending an unspecified amount of time with people I don't know well or don't know at all is not one I look forward to (thankfully, it's raining, so that solves that).

The fact that we're the only couple left in the neighborhood without children makes things even more draining, as it means that at every gathering I have to endure "Are you pregnant? When are you thinking of having kids?" etc. etc. As to the first question, the obvious answer is no (and I regret to say that I've started to snap "No, I'm infertile!"), but as to the second (which is often followed by "Well, aren't you going to adopt?"), I don't have an answer. Neither Brian nor myself feel any great urging to have children at this point, and we want to wait until he finishes his Master's and we settle wherever we'll be next in any event. Plus, although the tons of children in our neighborhood are cute and, for the most part, very well-behaved, being at parties where I have to contend not only with them but also their parents wears me out twice as fast.

So what's the solution for an introvert who hates phone calls, dreads parties, and has no good answer to the children question? Well, at today at least, it's staying home and watching Star Wars with my husband while eating homemade baked goods.

Bittersweet birthday

I realize my birthday was a little over a month ago, but it hit me this weekend how different 26 is from 25 in a number of ways.

First off, I'm officially uninsured. The recent healthcare bill made it possible to stay on my dad's insurance for another year, even though I'm married and no longer a student. But 26 is the absolute limit, and when I went to refill my prescription on Friday, hearing the pharmacist saying "your insurance is expired" really brought it home.

Plus I had to go out and buy a file cabinet for all the various adulty paperwork I have--car title, marriage license, bank statements, car insurance, loan paperwork, etc.,

When the heck did I become an adult? An uninsured adult with tons of paperwork and only a part-time job?

I hope by my 27th we know where we're moving next, and I have at least the prospects of a full time job wherever that might be. As more and more of my friends start having kids, I also wonder when we should start thinking about that...but then I get too freaked out and stop. One thing at a time, one thing at a time...

The English can really hold a grudge

Recently, I've moved away slightly from my favorite topic of Victorian social culture and have started reading nonfiction books and watching movies set in early 20th century England. Hey, I said slightly.

What I've really started to realize is that the English can REALLY hold a grudge. I'm talking here mostly about the entire country's hatred of Wallis Simpson, who caused Edward VIII to abdicate in 1937.(See what I mean in this article from the British Independent: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/the-return-of-wallis-simpson-2219771.html Even the woman writing a book on her can't like her).

Wallis Simpson first made it onto my anglophile radar during a visit to the National Portrait Museum, my favorite museum ever and a place I visited multiple times when studying abroad in London. There's a tiny room (or there was, in 2006) with sketches and small portraits of the current royal family. There was a single picture of Wallis, with a brief note about her relationship to the Windsors. She continued to pop up during reading, but as I don't often venture into the 20th century, it wasn't often.

Then I saw The King's Speech in January, during which Wallis makes a brief appearance in person (played, of course, as an obnoxious, frivolous American) and a frequent appearance in the plot, as she was the main reason for Edward VIII's abdication, as mentioned, and a large part of the strife in the movie..

Then, the Upstairs, Downstairs remake appeared on PBS in April, again briefly featuring Wallis (the main "Upstairs" character was told she had to invite her to a party, even though she was nobody important). This time, Wallis appeared with von Ribbentrop (yes, the Nazi one) in tow, with the implication that Wallis was a Nazi sympathizer, and was sleeping with von Ribbentrop to boot.

Ouch.

Then, I started reading a book on the Curzon sisters (Irene, Cimmie, and Baba), who were intimates of Edward VIII. The author spends nearly 1/3 of the book talking badly about Wallis, her obnoxious character, how ugly she was, the incredible amount of money she spent, her unaccountable pull over the King/Duke (once he abdicated) and how badly she treated him, their servants, and basically everyone else.

These people REALLY dislike her.

I don't feel one way or the other about Wallis Simpson, but then I have to say I also am not a huge fan of anyone in the 20s and 30s who was upperclass and did nothing but spend money, Winston Churchill and the Queen Mum excepted.

But the English could really teach the Mafia something about disliking someone for generations.

Things that make me happy

It's been a pretty rough summer so far, with Brian stressed to the breaking point with his intensive Greek class and the low morale at work, so I've recently done some thinking about things that make me happy and have been making an effort to do some of them. So as I'm watching "So You Think You Can Dance", a show that undoubtedly makes me happy with all their great dance routines, I thought I would do some musing in print (or...font?)

Chocolate

I love chocolate. It may very well be my favorite thing ever. This summer I've been baking even more things in chocolate than normal--this weekend I'm planning on making a chocolate pudding pie with (you guessed it) a chocolate crust. My supervisor at work keeps a jar of mini chocolate bars on her desk, and sometimes when I'm stressed I pop in her office for no reason and take one.

Baking

Baking has always been an activity that brings me comfort--plus, it results in dessert. The problem now is just finding people to eat what I bake!

Reading a good book while drinking tea

I love curling up with a good book, a cup of tea, and a blanket, especially when it's cold and/or stormy out. Some of the best books I've read this year include "The Help" by Kathryn Strockett, "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton, The Amelia Peabody series (as always), "The Buccaneers" by Edith Wharton, and The Millenium Trilogy by Swedish author Stieg Larsson.

My favorite tea? Caffeinated: Assam (although I haven't found a good one in the US), Darjeeling, and Chai, Decaf: English Breakfast, Peppermint, and Chocolate Hazelnut (yes, chocolate. I told you I loved it).

A well-written, happy movie

I love a movie with a good plot, well-written characters, and a happy ending. My favorite movies include "The Holiday" (with Kate Winslet, not Katharine Hepburn), "Love Actually", and "Julie & Julia".

Some great movies I've seen this year that fit in this group include "Tangled" (I love a princess movie), "The King's Speech", and "Ramona and Beezus". Sometimes I have to resort to children's movies to find the happy ending, especially in a year that produced "Black Swan", the most uncomfortable and abjectly depressing movie I've ever seen.

Brian's jokes and impressions

Brian's impressions (especially of my family members) and the jokes he makes that are probably only funny to me can always make me smile.

A good workout

I love both the feeling after a good workout, and also, during workout classes, the camaraderie that can develop, especially with a funny, outgoing instructor. I really miss group exercise classes, but I've been trying to make it to the exercise room i town more often.


So, just a short list, but all things that make me feel better when I'm down. Now back to So You Think You Can Dance!

We made it! Now what?

Well, we made it through Brian's first year of grad school. And boy, was it a long road.

He's already started on summer school (Ancient Greek), which he'll be in until July, but that means he's officially in his second year, and less than a year to go until graduation (May 5, 2012!!!).

This year, admittedly, has been HARD--moving to Florida, our first year of being married, going to (and working at) a small, fledgling school that is still struggling to find its administrative feet. Most of the friends we made this year graduated this weekend, and are leaving over the course of the next few weeks to go onto Ph.D programs or jobs (or job hunts, as the case may be).

Looking ahead, Brian still has a lot of work to do before he's an M.A.--his thesis, for one thing. He'll also be applying to doctoral programs starting this fall, and so we'll be back to having NO idea where we'll be come next fall (it likely won't be here, but I won't rule anything out at this point). My job, as the first career counselor the University's had, is an uphill battle getting students and faculty to recognize the importance of Career Services--if I have a job at all come fall. They are reportedly cutting 30+ staff members this summer, and no one has any idea who they will be. I could be getting laid off, but I hope not; I'm hoping to stick it out in this job at least until next summer when we figure out what we'll be doing next.

We made it through our first year in Florida--who knows what the second will bring.

"Hello, I'm infertile. How are you?"

Recently, living in a neighborhood PACKED with kids (there are only 2 other couples who don't have kids and aren't currently pregnant, and BOTH of them are moving this summer--all the others have at least 1 and most have 3-4) has really started to get to me.

A friend posted this article on Facebook, and after reading it I have to say how much I absolutely identify with it. Living in such a conservative, Catholic town, being married for a year without being pregnant is essentially an abnormality. Even our parents are starting to ask--and I'm getting to the point where I feel like literally screaming "I'M INFERTILE! Stop asking me this, it's hurtful!" I know they don't do it to be hurtful, but still.

In the afternoons, most of the moms in my neighborhood go out with the kids and play on the street, and I feel like I can't even venture out to get the mail without all of them staring at me and wondering why I don't have children (this is an exaggeration...probably). A friend recently remarked that he thought someone should be sterilized (that's a whole different issue, of course), and even though I frequently argue against sterilization without feeling any emotion but outright anger, this time I burst into tears and sobbed for upwards of an hour. Just because the talk of anything being sterile, especially involuntarily, makes me cry these days.

In other word, I'm a mess, and living where we currently do is not making anything better.

In (slightly related) work news, I've finally gotten upped to 30 hours--but you have to be 32 to qualify for benefits. Excuse me if I'm slightly bitter.