This past weekend, Brian and I traveled up to Lake Placid to speak at the Campus Ministry retreat about our relationship & marriage. It got me thinking, just how very, very fortunate I am.
When Brian and I met, I was 14, and he was 15 (he doesn't remember this. He went by BJ back then, but he hates being called that so don't tell him I told you). We had both been through our parent's divorce in nearly exactly similar circumstances, and so when we met again (about 2 years later) through our church youth group, it was an incredible relief to find someone I could talk to about everything. We hung out at church and on the track team, I dated one of his friends (awkward...) and we got to know each other. Brian is one of the most reassuring, funny, and enjoyable people to be around. He both makes me laugh and makes me relax, a great combination as I am usually wound up and tense.
At the retreat, we were asked to speak about overcoming our divorced family past and deciding to get married anyway....but if anything, I think the divorce spurred me on toward marriage. I wanted a lasting relationship, since I didn't have one in my life. I knew that we needed to address our issues when they came up, because our parents didn't. I knew we needed to never part angry, to show each other love whenever possible, to laugh together. I can't help thinking, every day, how much I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
As I told the group this weekend, we have our hard times like anyone else. We argue, nitpick (or as we call it in my family, nitpickard, after my mom's family of phenomenal nitpickers, the Pickards), and occasionally wound one another. But knowing I get to come home to my best friend at the end of the day, and wake up to him in the morning, is such an enormous blessing that I don't take enough time to appreciate.
Today was just another reminder of that fact; Brian got me flours. Get it? Flours? Well, anyway, he got me 4 small bags of flour, and for a baker who goes through an extraordinary amount of flour, this was the perfect gift.
So, for all of you who have been through a divorce, either of your parents or one of your own, know that you can heal, and find that person who makes you feel worthy and important. As How I Met Your Mother once said, "They're out there, coming as fast as they can".
Happy Valentine's Day.
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