Betty Boleyn?

Ok, so this is random, but something I've been thinking about for awhile--has anyone else noticed that Betty's necklace on Ugly Betty is modeled off the one Anne Boleyn is always picture wearing in her portraits?  They look exactly alike, in fact. It's possible that I read too many books about the Tudors and have been to the National Portrait Gallery too many times for my own good (very possible)--but is this intentional? I can't see any reason to link Betty Suarez to Anne Boleyn, but I can't help thinking about it every time I see the show.

On a happy note, Ugly Betty seems to have gone back to a mix of comedy and drama, instead of just drama like last season...let's hope this continues.

Hello, Nervous Breakdown

As I promised when I started this blog, I will be chronicling many a nervous breakdown, the first of which happened this weekend.

It was a bit of a weekend-long one, starting on Friday with getting lost in Cary (I only wish I had an aerial video of it, since we actually started out where we needed to be, just across the street, and ended up driving about for an hour only to end up back where we started) and ending up Sunday with some hysterical sobbing and calling in sick to work (which I have NEVER done, in any job, shockingly enough). In other words, awesome fun. NOT.

I'm just feeling super overloaded, both in class (several hundred pages of reading a week, at least one paper/project, and not to mention 5 classes I actually have to sit through, 4 of which are 3 hours each and 1 of which is 2) and at JFS (2 clients I have to see weekly, 2 groups to run, and participating in an action team for creating a special needs group).  I'm thinking I may have to cut back on working with Joe, my client, even though it's really the last thing I want to cut and I feel completely horrible and guilty about it.  

Also, I had the usual insult that gets me riled up: " you look like you're 10!" This AFTER I had introduced myself as the SW intern. Well, excuse me for trying to be professional...I really think this comment was utterly unnecessary not to mention pretty humiliating, as it happened in front of the members of the action team I was about to sit in on.  I HATE HATE HATE when people say that to me, especially when my introduction makes clear that I am older than that.

But, to end on a good note, I did have a compliment today, from a guy that's in all of my classes--we were talking about assignments and I said one had taken me a certain number of hours, to which he said "wow, Sarah's really efficient, that many Sarah hours is double my hours!" Another friend also commented on how ahead of the curve I am...which, even though I don't think it's true, is at least reassuring.

A Mish Mash of Emotions

ANGER

On Sunday, I took the client I work with (for the sake of this blog, let's call him Joe) to Subway for lunch.  He chose to get a kid's meal, mainly because he had noticed that the toy was a nerf football, which he wanted. When we got to the front of the line, we were talking about who should order first, and the employee said ,"wait...are you guys TOGETHER?" I said  yes, and she proceeded to treat me as if I was crazy for choosing to eat lunch with Joe.  I ordered, and then he asked for a kid's meal, to which her response was, "HIM?" All I could do was nod, and hope she wouldn't try to argue with me about how old he is (17 today!) She treated us both as if we were completely stupid, which was frustrating, as both of us knew what we wanted to eat and just wanted to get decent service. In the end, her fellow coworker and herself were just standing at the register staring at us as we sat down in a booth to eat. In short, the Subway in Eastgate Shopping Center is a place I will no longer be honoring with my patronage.

FRUSTRATION

I've really been frustrated at the School recently, for wasting my time on pointless crap like meetings in which they tell us "Instructors are teachers!" NO, I HAD TO COME TO GRAD SCHOOL TO LEARN THAT.  I've also just been feeling burnt out and completely unmotivated to do any of the work I've been assigned...I'm utterly tired of going to school, which is understandable seeing as how i've been doing it for 20 out of my 23 years.  Also, I kind of feel like i'm beating my head against the wall in my field placement--I like elderly people and all, but it's just not where I want to be in my life right now.  I pretty much invited myself to a meeting where they're discussing starting a special needs group on Sunday...we'll see if that alleviates my frustration at all. I'm not sure if my supervisor means to do this (I really think she doesn't), but she's pretty much blowing off my interest in disabilities, which is even more frustrating.

EXCITEMENT

Today was a relief, since for once I wasn't feeling like I wanted to jump out the window just to escape my endless litany of classes in the same building. It was Harambee, the multicultural celebration, during the lunch break.  We had Egyptian belly dancers, Indian poetry, Brazilian martial arts, Puerto Rican bomba dancing and drumming, and even the Dean playing folk songs on his guitar.  My favorite, however, was an African-American woman (I wish I could remember her name to give her credit--I think maybe it was Rani?) who did slam poetry, one poem of which was entitled, "Revolution".

Here's a quote:

"Fuck giving the world a Coke,

I want to give the world some sense

But I'm out of change."

This is what keeps me at the School instead dropping out, as I've thought about doing so often since August 14th.  As Pink says in her new song, "So what, i'm still a rock star". And so am I.

First day on the job

I have, at long last, finished orientation and started my internship, at Jewish Family Services. Clearly, for those of you who know me, I am not Jewish, so this is definitely going to be a learning experience. 

Based on today, here are some things I'm going to be doing:

• Meeting with individual elderly clients (one of whom is a Holocaust survivor!)
• Going to Chaverim, the group program for seniors (next week we're going to lunch and a play!)
• Planning/attending the "Mommy and me" group for Jewish moms with young children.
• HOPEFULLY working on starting up a special needs group/parent support group.

I'm pretty psyched about that last part, so I hope it works out. Today I got to tour two synagogues in Durham, the Lerner School (a Jewish elementary school), and Duke's Hillel building, consult with one of the staff on a client with disabilities, and get treated to lunch.

It's going to be a busy semester for sure, with the restarting of my Arc work on Sunday and my work with JFS (a lot of which will ALSO be on Sundays).  But it was certainly a refreshing change not to be in TTK (the social work building)  listening to lectures for hours on end. I also went to a kickbox class, which I hadn't done in a while; all in all, it was a good day, and i'm not feeling so doom and gloom as I have been for the past 2 weeks.