I'm Not in the South Anymore, Ya'll

Sometimes, I forget that I have left the state I spent 25 years of my life in. For example, I grew up saying ya'll. Everyone I knew said ya'll. Even the out-of-staters in college quickly learned to say ya'll. But when I say ya'll here in conversation, everyone trades a smile of amusement. "Isn't that cute? She just said ya'll! I thought they only did that in movies where the girls where hoop skirts and drink mint juleps!"

Side note of irritation: Vivien Leigh, who played Scarlett O'Hara, was BRITISH. Not Southern. Her entire accent was made up and FAKE.

Ok, moving on. So today, I'm in a meeting where we are working on planning a dance. Various options are thrown around--swing dance? square dance?--and I mention that I'm used to having everyone just shag at dances. Cue bug eyes and everyone's faces going red. Finally one co-worker choked out, "SHAG? Like in Austin Powers?!?". I tried in vain to explain that it is a dance style, done to beach music (they'd never heard of that either) but everyone kept flinching when I said shag and asked "can't you come up with another word?". NO! It's a dance style, and is absolutely not sexual and has nothing to do with Austin Powers.

Florida is technically the South, and northern Florida may be, but here in Southwest Florida we are a joint colony of upstate New York and Michigan. The Crisco is ridiculously hard to find in the store (hidden on the bottom shelf!), when I made hushpuppies for a party no one had heard of them (what do they do when their dogs bark?) and no one can understand me on the phone (resulting in 2 different prescriptions, one under Battersey and one under Battersbvy. Battersbvy? Really??).

I never appreciated the small things about NC I would miss--the smell of the air, dogwoods, azaleas, leaves turning, square dancing, shagging, beach music at every wedding reception, men who hold open doors for you and call you ma'am, fresh seafood, everyone knowing about the UNC/Duke rivalry--things I barely noticed when I lived there. Sometimes I even watch Paula Deen's show for nostalgia. And I don't even like Paula Deen.

Is there such a thing as a Southern expat? Because I think I'm it.