The longest word I'll ever use

I thought, being an English major during college, that I had come across most of the vocabulary I would need to use in my life. I realized I was wrong when I saw the title of one of my assignments (and heard this word used in other classes, as well): biopsychosocial. Really. I have to write a 10-page biopsychosocial assessment. Apparently, social work has its origins in Germany, because only in German have I seen them use this technique of mashing words together to create one big one.

Also, another discovery: I am more transparent than I thought. During my series of pointless workshops around learning styles and "creating a learning environment" (gag), we had to do one of those icebreakers (never mind that we've all been thrown together for 8 hours a day for the past 2 weeks and don't NEED icebreakers) where you have a list of characteristics (been on a cruise ,speaks French, etc) and have to find people to put in the spaces--several people asked me "you're ambitious, right? " and " you look like one of those people that do their assignments immediately".  While this is certainly true, it was surprising that people i've only known for 2 weeks seemed to be able to discern this--what makes me seem ambitious? 

In conclusion, as it was pouring this morning when I got off the bus and i had to slog through what amounted to a pond that happened to have a brick walkway somewhere underneath it and got sprayed by the water coming off passing Mack trucks and buses, I spent most of the day freezing cold and wet. Now, after taking a hot bath to remedy the freezing, I'm baking chocolate chip cookies to make up for my crappy day. You might want to eat lunch with me tomorrow...I'm just saying. 

Insight and Frustration

While reading for my macro class, I had, during a brief zone-out, an inspiration:  I realized what I would really like to do with my life.  I would LOVE to be able to counsel parents who have just discovered that their child has a disability (either in utero or post-birth), talking with them about how to make their life productive, talking them out of feeling despair and possibly wanting to abort, and also talking to parents who have known their child's diagnosis for a while and still focus on making their child "normal". I HATE HATE HATE "normalization", because it inherently implies that these children are somehow lesser and must be fixed. This is just not true, and if I could yell at every agency that propagates this belief (including one i've worked for) believe me, I would.

Another source of frustration is the term "consumer"; as in, parents coming to discuss their child with me would be a consumer of my services. Well, this just makes social work sound like Burger King. I had to go to a 20-hour workshop last fall focusing on the switch to consumer, and I maintain that it is completely ridiculous. I realize it's supposed to promote empowerment, blah blah, but it just makes me cringe. 

"Let's normalize this consumer". HOW HORRIBLE IS THAT?

School of Social WORK

Well, I have to say, I now know why they call it social WORK. Thus far (and i've only been to 2 classes), it certainly looks to be a lot of work.

Today I had macro practice and development 1...I think they're going to be good and informative, but there's a lot of reading and assignments for both (no exams, though--yay!). A lot of students (and even some teachers) have said "You won't be able to read it all". WELL, WHY ASSIGN IT THEN? Really, that makes no sense to me.

 I've also been working on my online class, and here's a quote from a video I had to watch about Native American mascots and how they're offensive:

"Minority rights aren't always right".  REALLY.  Someone really said this (I think this person was also in the Illinois senate).  Well, shouldn't everyone have rights?  Native American mascots have always kind of bothered me at the back of my mind (plus that arm-chopping thing the Seminoles do is freaking annoying), but watching this video, where several Native Americans explained that tribal dances are a religious ceremony and that Chief is an earned and very respected title (hence, seeing a "chief" dance around at half-time is extremely upsetting), i have to agree that it's offensive. It's like seeing someone playing Jesus or a priest or something during half-time--how can you not agree that's offensive? I'm not Native American (CLEARLY, if you've ever seen me), but I can understand how, after years and years of persecution, they'd just like some respect. Well, who wouldn't?

In short...i've had a lot of work, even so far, but i'm learning a lot. Let's hope this continues...

Here's to new beginnings

"Sometimes life is like Whac-A-Mole--you have to make decisions and all you have is a puffy baton"--Prof. Strom-Gottfried

At the closing of day 2 of orientation, I'm no less exhausted and keep finding myself alternating rapidly between contentment, excitement, and the urge to sob uncontrollably over the passing of one of the best summers work and friend-wise ever. I'm feeling alone as I sit by myself on a Friday night and separated from everyone that gave me that comfort zone, allowing me to not have to branch out.  I've met lots of great people in the past 2 days--but will any of them really be close? Will I be able to keep up with my college friends like I want to? Will I survive grad school as anything other than a quivering mass of nerves?

As down on life as I've been recently, I am glad to be where I am in my life (although I wish I were somehow magically able to make a lot more money; paying the bills is stressing me out big-time).

On a different note...

I'm sure this is clear for those of you who know me, but...I am a HUGE nerd. Today we had to to take a writing assessment, and I actually thought it was kind of fun. I KNOW..i'm weird. But in a strange way, the challenge got me geared up to be writing papers again (I actually downloaded a ton of classical music by my fav composers (Mozart, Vivaldi, and Gershwin) to study/write papers by, as after 4 years of living in near-constant noise, silence drives me nuts and I can't focus if there are things with words (ie, tv or pop music) playing nearby.  

So, here's to new beginnings--may they be as promising as they look.

Nostalgia and Apprehension

"Some people see "social worker" as "savior"'--Shaunee, my new classmate

It's official--i'm now in grad school. I have the bag with the School of Social Work's logo and everything (we got this free--for the cost of tuition. How lovely).

I've only finished my first day of orientation (it lasts until the end of August, technically--good grief); it went ok, although I'm feeling that it's going to be just as much work as I had anticipated, which i'm not really excited about. I did get to meet some new people who are in to all kinds of awesome social work. 

We also had some great conversations about working in organizations (and I met several people with whom i'll be sure to have many satisfying rants about the state of the mental health system in NC), which kind of busted me out of my dread of the next 2 years and helped me find some things to look forward to:

• If the bag (and the mug I already had) is anything to go by, free stuff
• Lots of diversity and interesting conversations
• Good teachers (even if they ARE tough, they all seemed nice and willing to hold a conversation about the future)
• Getting to choose electives next year
• My field placement

As Lara departs for Greenville for good tomorrow, i'm feeling extremely apprehensive about living by myself for real--although I'm feeling that, if the way I feel now is anything to go by, i'll be so exhausted I'll barely notice.  Still, another new beginning--as we walked on campus today, and saw all the freshman just starting their college journey, it made me extremely nostalgic for the four years that just passed so quickly.

I'm passing into a new stage of my life--but I don't think I'm ready.

crap or culture?

I just went to the library, and while I was there I stopped to check out their new biography shelf--which currently features full-length biographies of Dr. Dre and Tupac. Is this utterly ridiculous, or pop culture at its best?  I just can't decide...

Ch-ch-changes

"Pretty soon now you're going to get a little older"--David Bowie, "Changes"

It's really hit me in the past week how many things are changing, and how fast. With school looming ahead, and everyone that was staying in Chapel Hill for the summer moving on to the next stage in their lives (and everyone who is staying in Chapel Hill focusing on their jobs rather than textbooks and class lists), I've been feeling a bit melancholy.  I almost wish I hadn't decided to move on to grad school--I've enjoyed working during the day and having the nights and weekends free to do whatever I wanted.  Of course, now that I'm living alone ( a decision i'm also beginning to regret), free time usually equals me time--which i'm not so sure I like so much.

Of course, there are pros and cons to both school and having to live alone, such as:

• I counted, and since my freshman year I have lived with TWENTY THREE different people, counting the girls I lived with in London when I studied abroad. This is just completely insane, and it's almost a relief not to have such a flowing tide of roommates anymore.
• BUT, I miss having roommates to talk to--not to mention split the bill.

As far as school goes, 

• Of course there's the argument for getting a better job post-graduation with a higher and more specialized degree.
• BUT--two more years of school??? I'm having to take 5 classes, do an internship, AND do an online class just for this fall--not to mention keeping up my part-time job too.

In short, things are changing, and far too fast for my liking. When did college end?? I'm an engaged, 23-year-old grad student, and that seems a bit scary. Still, it will be interesting to see what the future will hold...